Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
