i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize