How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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