You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
