i don't like sucking hair
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
