ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
