Is it because I queefed?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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