quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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