I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
