How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
