actually, I'm a sock model
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize