she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
