You smell like a Billy Joel song
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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