Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
