in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
