They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
