if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
