you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
