Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
