'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
