He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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