Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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