worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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