So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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