Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
