My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm so fucking centered right now
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
