May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
