i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
