Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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