No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i may or may not be watching the land before time
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Randomize
