just come out here and I will go home with you...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
