I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
