lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize