Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
