Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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