I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
