I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
