i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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