no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
