I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
