Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
