the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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