:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
