if i can run in heels then i can drive
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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