Sponge bath it is.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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