My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
