My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
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