I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
