he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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