I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We were destined to go to rehab together
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize