I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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