Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Randomize
