No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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