You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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