The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
