This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize