somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
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I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
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My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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